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Song to a Learned Abbess
- Dear abbess, I have heard
- that you are very learned
- about what's good; for love
- of God, please have mercy
- on me, as I know nothing
- more than an ass about fucking
- and just this year got married.
- I've heard that when it comes
- to fucking and other good fun
- you're a most learned nun,
- so teach me how to fuck,
- Madam, as I'm untrained:
- my parents never explained,
- and I remained quite dumb.
- And if by you I'm told
- about the art of screwing,
- and if I learn to do it
- from you in your Godly role
- as abbess, each time I fuck
- I'll say a solemn Our Father,
- and I'll say it for your soul.
- I'm certain, Madam, that you
- can thus attain God's kingdom:
- by teaching all poor sinners
- more than abstaining from food,
- and by teaching all the women
- who come to seek your wisdom
- about how they should screw.
[English version by Richard Zenith]
